it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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