Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
