Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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