Got a toothbrush?
3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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