North Korea, Best Korea!
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
