he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
