"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
