that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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