i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize