im drinking this country out of the recession.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
