I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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