susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
