i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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