theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
