The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
