Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize