Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I checked into jail on foursquare
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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