That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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