glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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