its not stalking. its research.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
