dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
