What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You made out with two different species that night
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
