Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
