bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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