I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
