Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
