a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
