I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
