Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize