Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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