I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
