he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
