No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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