Where is the hickey?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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