i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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