we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
