In the future we'll all be gay
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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