Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize