I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize