The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
