Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
