I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
