the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize