Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
