My room smells like vodka and shame
Small penises have feelings too.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize