Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
