no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Farmville is her only friend.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize