Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
you never un-have a 4some
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
there is glitter all over my balls
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