Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
