woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
