I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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