Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
