So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
