Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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