I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Bring me that man meat
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
