like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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