Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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