3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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