I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
