I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
